The Good Life

I remember when I was 17 years old, I moved out of my house and went to live with my aunt and uncle in Indiana. Now, this wasn't very easy- at all - And at times, I felt really depressed and alone. There are many songs that I listened to during this time, but there was always one I listened to almost every day to cheer me up, and to this day it STILL makes me happy and pumps me up and makes me WANT to live a "good life". I mean, I listened to this song before I moved there but it was more so significant to me after the fact.

So, here are the lyrics:

When I look in the mirror, I can't believe what I see
Tell me, who's that funky dude, staring back at me?
Broken, beaten down can't even get around
Without an old-man cane, I fall and hit the ground
Shivering in the cold, I'm bitter and alone

Excuse the bitchin, I shouldn't complain
I should have no feeling, 'cause feeling is pain
As everything I need, is denied me
And everything i want, is taken away from me
But who do I got to blame? Nobody but me

…And I don't wanna be an old man anymore
It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor
Shakin' booty, makin' sweet love all the night
It's time I got back to the Good Life
It's time i got back, it's time i got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back…Yeah!

Screw this crap, I've had it! I ain't no Mr. Cool
I'm a pig, I'm a dog, so 'scuse me if I drool
I ain't gonna hurt nobody, ain't gonna 'cause a scene
I just need to admit that I want sugar in my tea
Hear me? Hear me? I want sugar in my tea!

…And I don't wanna be an old man anymore
It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor
Shakin' booty, makin' sweet love all the night
It's time I got back to the Good Life
It's time i got back, it's time i got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back…Yeah!

I want to go back, I want to go back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
It's time i got back, it's time i got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
I want to go back…Yeah!

…And I don't wanna be an old man anymore
It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor
Shakin' booty, makin' sweet love all the night
It's time I got back to the Good Life
It's time i got back, it's time i got back
and I don't even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back…Yeah!


..... I know, I know. The lyrics sound silly, but that's the point. Becase right now, during this whole funk, while I'm facing this bump in the road, I can at least listen to a silly song and feel Happy.

I have to move home, back to Camas, tomorrow and the thought is so overwhelming. My little Honda can only carry so much and the gas from my house to downtown Vancouver and then BACK to my house is so much. It's time consuming as well. And then I have to close the store. I ALSO HAVE TO CLOSE ON HALLOWEEN!

Ugh. I'm so sick of being depressed and overwhelmed and unmotivated all the time. I'm sick of complaining. "And I don't want to be an old man anymore..."

What Not To Wear...?

Question: Why is it that I feel like I'm not taken seriously, because of the clothes I wear?

I watch "What Not To Wear", and while most of the people they "fix" are generally adults and, well, frumpy, I am not quite an adult nor am I frumpy. In fact, I look generously younger than my age (20), and most of the time people think I'm around 17-18 years old.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, I watch that show and kiiiind of apply it to the clothes I wear. I mean, I don't take it seriously and go out and follow the "rules" to a T, I don't obsess about other peoples clothes or anything like that.

The other point i should make is that I am really interested in Fashion. Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved... and I mean LOVED dressing up. I can recall many times that my mom spanked me for getting into her makeup. (Don't worry, I deserved it. She warned me many, many times that she would spank me if I got into her makeup again. I kept testing the limits.) I drew on the brand new white carpet with my mom's "fashionable" bright pink coming-out-of-the-80s-barely-in-the-nineties lipstick. I was 2 or 3 years old. IN MY DEFENSE: I remember it (because I was spanked... Ironically), and I was drawing lines in the carpet trying to draw my family.

I remember really random things from my past. Per contra, I can never remember math or any other simple task I'm asked to do.

The point I'm trying to make is: A lot of the time, I get criticized about how I'm "fashionable". I get teased that I have no brain, just fashion. Just looks. And it drives me crazy. JUST BECAUSE I'M A FAKE BLONDE, AND I LIKE TO DRESS UP AND DO MY MAKEUP AND *SOMETIMES* TREAT MYSELF TO FAKE EYELASHES, DOES NOT MEAN I'M AN IDIOT. I do admit I make quite the fabulous airhead sometimes. ;)

"Attention, HomeGoods shoppers..."

Okay, so the majority of my blog is about how much I hate HomeGoods.

I don't hate my job, I hate the customers. I am always at Customer Service. ALWAYS.
I don't know if it's because I'm really "nice", sweet? Helpful? Happy?
Maybe because sometimes I get credit cards? I don't know. But I'm ALWAYS up there.
And I have to deal with rude, nasty, bitter people all freaking day.

The other night, an old lady threw a PEN at me!!!! Because it wouldn't sign on the receipt!!!!!
She snapped and said "Maybe you should get me a pen that WORKS"
And I just smiled and said, "Oh, Okay Ma'am." And got her a freaking new pen.

And another thing: Do you know how often I find trash in carts???
Empty starbucks cups and yocream bowls. One time a baby diaper.
REALLY????? REALAALLALALALLLYYY??????
And there's always trash on the shelves. It drives me insane.


So now that I've let all of the "bitterness" pour out of me, I'm ready to accept that I again open the store tomorrow, only because I have the next two days off! YAY!

I am getting my wisdom teeth removed soon... hoping my amazing boyfriend Michael can fly up here to take care of meeee for the weekend that I'm unable to moooove.

Crossing my fingers! Cross yours too. <333

Goodnight!

i want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real"

what a wonderful week it has been. michael, steve and i went on a few fun adventures (seattle, the zoo, etc). I dropped them off at the airport this morning and I have to admit I'm a little lonely without two men following me around everywhere. Pooh.

I thought I was going to move in to my apartment today, but I just felt really tired and took a long, beautiful nap. and I still need to pack all my stuff up and get it into my car, but i just don't feel like it right now, at all haha.

the other thing i'm excited about is the possibility of a second job! i have to bring my resume into the place on monday and she may give me a interview right there if it's not too busy. i definitely hope i get this. having two paychecks would be so nice. one for my savings account and one for my checking. hmm...

okay, i'm going to go draw a nice hot bath and get ready. i feel like seeing some friends tonight. i don't feel DEPRESSED that Michael is gone, I haven't really cried or been mopey or anything and I don't have that attitude that everything sucks JUST because my boyfriend is gone, but I just feel a little off. I mean, I am sad but I don't feel like it. It's weird and I don't make sense.

That is my hint to stop writing.
Bye!